The Emotional Effects of Stuttering on Children
Having a stutter can be a devastating problem for a young child or a teen. Simple tasks such as saying one's name, answering the telephone, asking for directions, or ordering a meal can be hugely frustrating or embarrassing. Making friends and socializing can be even more awkward and painful. Statistics show 35% of school-aged kids report they have been teased or bullied at some time. With children that stutter, that statistic rises to a whopping 82%!
Kids derive their self-esteem from their families, important authority figures and their peer group. As they get older, the influence of their peer group increases, along with their need for social acceptance. Kids that struggle with stuttering are often ridiculed, marginalized and/or ostracized resulting in low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and even depression. Some kids that stutter retreat into a shell, and become silent and sullen. School work suffers, relationships fall apart, and the world becomes a place of pain, loneliness, and isolation. Clearly, stuttering isn't just a physical affliction, it is a social one as well.
The best thing parents can do for a child that stutters is to make sure they have a strong stuttering identity. That means:
- having an attitude of acceptance, not shame about the stuttering
- reinforcing that a child that stutters is not inferior
- focusing on the child's skills and potential for functioning and developing socially and
- emphasizing that a child's dreams, desires, and talents should determine the focus of their future, not their stuttering.
Children that stutter are normal in every other way. It is detrimental to their spirits to make them pretend they don't stutter, or spend their lives struggling to hide the fact that they do. Every human being has a desire for self-expression and social interaction. The ability to communicate gives us a sense of self-worth and belonging. Children who stutter should be encouraged to talk, and never shamed or silenced!
If a child is taught to accept their stutter, and to communicate freely in spite of it, they learn to handle their disfluencies. If they are made to feel guilt, shame or embarrassment, the struggle to hide their stuttering or to communicate flawlessly actually creates tension and makes matters worse!
Parents, model love and unconditional acceptance towards your child that stutters. Get them competent therapy. Involve them, and yourselves, in stuttering organizations where you can find solace and encouragement. Work to develop confidence in your child, and a good sense of self-esteem.
Life for a person that stutters can be difficult sometimes. But with the proper help and encouragement, it can also be happy and rewarding. Don't despair, don't give up!
