For Many, Stuttering Is a Fact of Life

By PAMELA A. MERTZ

First published: Monday, October 20, 2008 Times Union Albany, NY

I stutter. Lots of people stutter, some of them are even famous - like John Stoessel, James Earl Jones and former NBA star Bill Walton. Some stuttered as children, and then outgrew it, like Joe Biden and Tiger Woods.

But most of us are not famous. We are just people living our lives in a world that is sometimes cruel, thoughtless, and impatient. Sometimes we are avoided, thought to be less intelligent, and often laughed at and teased. It's especially tough for kids and teenagers. Kids can be mean to kids, and sometimes schools don't know how to deal with someone who stutters. I felt weird and alone growing up. I never met anyone else who stuttered until I was an adult. All that time, I thought I was the only one.

It's hard on parents, too. They worry that their kids won't be normal- that they won't date, get married and have kids, have good jobs and all the things that most people take for granted. That's why we need to teach people about stuttering, so we can normalize it for kids, parents, schools and adults. And so we can teach kids how to stand up for themselves.

Wednesday is International Stuttering Awareness Day. Stuttering affects about 3 million Americans and 69 million people worldwide. That's a lot of people with a relatively rare speech disorder.

This year's theme is "Don't Be Afraid of Stuttering". That's the problem. People are afraid of what they don't understand.

I didn't understand my own stuttering for a very long time.I was afraid. Sometimes when I go into a store and ask for something, a clerk laughs at me or mimics me. I hate that, I really do. I used to get so embarrassed. I would sometimes leave without getting what I wanted. But now I realize that it's up to me to educate people about stuttering.

Here's the skinny on stuttering. It's a disorder whereby the normal flow of speech is involuntarily disrupted. Some say it's like a short circuit in the brain. But the key is that it's involuntary. I can't help it. Stuttering manifests itself in different ways. It can include word or syllable repetitions, l-l-l-l-like this, or prolongations, llllllllike this, or sometimes I open my mouth and nothing comes out. That's called a block. It means I am having a temporary speech stoppage. Don't laugh at me or look the other way. Just be patient. It usually only takes me 30 seconds or less to get the word out. Surely the world won't stop in that brief moment.

Here's how to listen to me when I stutter. Listen to me like you would listen to anyone else. It's that simple!

Maintain eye contact, show interest, ask if you need me to repeat something, and don't finish my words or sentences for me. Most people think they are being helpful when they do that, but really, it's disrespectful when you think about it. You can't read my mind. You don't know what I am going to say. So be patient with me.

As for teasing and bullying kids who stutter in school, the best thing is to educate people about stuttering so it becomes a nonissue. One of the best, and bravest, things to do is to have a child who stutters teach their classmates about stuttering. Making it normal will reduce the fears about stuttering, which in turn will reduce teasing, and will help the child feel better about himself.

Stuttering also affects adults in the workplace. Sometimes we are discriminated against, again, because people are afraid of what they don't know. I know this all too well, because I lost a job because of stuttering publicly. Can you believe I had the nerve to do that? My boss thought I was a poor communicator and poor role model.

Employers need to know that people who stutter can make great employees, just like anyone else. We have added strengths - like increased tolerance for differences, compassion, and patience.

So, on Wednesday, and every other day, try to learn something about stuttering. If you know someone who stutters, don't be afraid to ask them about it. Especially a kid - they'll love you for it.

Most importantly, know this: Stuttering is just a different way of talking. And what would the world be like if there weren't differences? Stuttering is just something I do, not who I am.

For more information on International Stuttering Awareness Day, visit this link.

Pamela A. Mertz lives in Albany. Her e-mail address is pmertz2@yahoo.com